I am surrounded by Children, children in the family, my friend’s children, a venture that I’m working on that requires me to research the psychology of children; and I never thought I’d say this but…
We should all be a little more Childish.
Before you comment- There is method to my madness…
ADOPTING SOME BENEFICIAL CHILDISH WAYS
A CHILD HAS MASTERED THE ART OF PERSISTENCE AND WITH IT, THEY USUALLY GET WHAT THEY WANT.
Scenario: I was in the supermarket watching a persistent little boy (approx 3yrs old) pursue a packet of crisps.
“Mom”, “Mom”, “Mom”, “Mom”, “Mom”
How you or I may have responded:
- Frustration – I can’t get my message across
- Anger – Maybe if I shout and use my angry voice
- Feelings of being disrespected, unappreciated – Why wont they respond to me, they must be ignoring me, they just don’t care.
- Feeling’s of embarrassment -The people around me must be wondering why no-one is responding to me, do others think I’m of little value or perhaps going crazy and talking to myself.
How did the child respond:
- He kept calling mom’s name. Even after the fifth “Mom”, he did not raise his voice in anger, cry or appear sad as if he’d been ignored, nor did he look around to see if anyone was watching his futile efforts.
AND GUESS WHAT? MOM FINALLY RESPONDED.
So, be Persistent like a child
- Pursuing your cause – Don’t give up
- Don’t compromise – you deserve the Best and the Best is available to you
- Don’t get embarrassed / feel ashamed- For a split second someone may have a reaction but rest assured that their reaction does not become a deeper
A CHILD HAS MASTERED THE ART OF BEING WHAT THEY WANT TO BE AND WITH IT, THEY CAN BE ANYONE AND DO ANYTHING.
Scenario: My friends daughter would leave the house in a pink tutu, spotted tights, her crown and wand and her favorite soft slippers if she let her.
When we are children, we have our own style, our own rules, our own way of seeing the world.
At some point, we no longer create ourselves, we allow the world to create us. We no longer influence the world, we allow the word to influence us.
By being yourself, you exude confidence and assertiveness and become a vehicle for innovative ideas. You only need to look at the rich and famous whom so many idolize because they have the nerve. So get some nerve.
Even the world of business stresses the need to stand out (Seth Godin’s ‘Purple Cow’).
So, be yourself like a child
- Have your own style
- Be a non-conformist to social norms and popular culture.
- Play pretend, re-embrace your imagination and creativity.
- Forget what others think of you.
A CHILD IS INNOCENT
Scenario: ‘Did you fart sweetheart?’ Mom asks. Child nods his head with an assertion that makes you think he’s proud he did it; but he ‘s neither proud, nor embarrassed. It is what it is.
The majority of children (around the toddler age) will speak their mind, they won’t sugar coat the truth to make you feel better, They won’t lie to you, unless an adult tells them to / they have learned that behavior.
Being innocent is just so much easier, but it’s only easy if you learn to not care what others think of you. Otherwise, you drift into this stress of people pleasing, trying to mold yourself into a perception of yourself that you want another person to believe is the real you.
Then there’s the stress of keeping up the charade, which is a level of lying at it’s simplest. Lying to yourself and others.
Some people may not like you, but that’s there problem. Most people will respect you for being honestly you.
So, be innocent like a child
- Be upfront an honest
- Forget what others think of you.
A CHILD FORGIVES AND FORGETS AND WITH IT, THEY CAN FREE THEMSELVES FROM ANGER AND PAIN.
Scenario: You are very angry with your child who has been very naughty, so you put them on some naughty step / take away their toy / whatever it is you deem as punishment. 10 minutes later, after the ordeal, they are your best friends again as if nothing happened.
I believe there’s a psychological reason for this relating to memory retention etc (I’m not a psychologist but I’m sure someone out there knows what I mean), however, the point is, by Forgiving and Forgetting, you let go of resentment and a feeling of anger and pain. Not being able to forgive and forget, you may think it only affects the other person but in the long run, you suffer just as much.
So, be forgiving like a child
- Don’t hold on to grievances
Children always make me smile because they just seem to have a freedom that we’ve lost. Their experiences seem to guide them rather than control who they are.